Reflection

My intentions with this blog was just to do it because I had to. I have a personal blog and I love to go on there and spill my mind. But this blog was different, this was hard for me. Altogether, this class has been hard for me. I am having a hard time with the church lately so I struggled to do the reading, much less have a response to the reading. Doing this blog has been exceptionally hard for me. I’ll get on, begin to write, and then question what I just read and what we’re talking about in class and my faith in the church. Some of the readings really hit me and I was able to connect to, other readings passed right over my head and I could care less about. A lot of this semester I have spent angry at our Heavenly Father and I stopped going to church. With that, the last place I felt like I belonged was in a class where we were reading from people who believed in the church and in miracles. I’m missing that part of my life again. I wish I would have taken this class when I was at a different point of my life, I wish I could have written this blog when I was in a different place. Right now i’m full of uncertainties, i’m full of doubts and i’m not sure how to get away from in. I think there are moments in this blog where I can see my old self, I love those moments.

My goals are to find that person that I use to be, or the faith that I use to have. My goal is to one day come back to this blog and share my testimony and share this with other people. My goal is to one day learn how to appreciate these readings and see what I could have learned from them. My goal is not give up on this church and the blessings it has given my family. I am regretful that I didn’t give this class a chance and that I had a hard time making myself come. I am regretful that I wasted this opportunity.